African bush adventures

We all have dreams. But sometimes, they are hidden so deep inside us that we can not even make out the barest outlines of them even if we try really hard. We know what we do not like, but what we like… that is a tougher one.  But perhaps there is another way to look at it.

Sometimes we overlook the voice inside us because it is so BIG and LOUD that it scares us. So we ignore it.

“Who, me? Being brilliant, talented, successful… nah, that is for other people. My mom/teacher/big brother/dad told me I was useless at it and they are more important than me so I am wrong and they are right”. Yeah. sure… so we go crawling unhappily around in our little cave butting our head against the walls battering ourselves for even trying.

Sometimes the voice is heard but the request is so seemingly SMALL and insignificant . So we ignore it.

“Hmmm… I really w o u l d like to be more active/ learn how to play tennis/ increase my social circle/ see more independent film/ …” but then we scoff it away with a “-nah, I do not have time/it is proably a waste of money/ I probably will not like it/ I do ot know anyone to do it with”… and our life gets smaller until we end up in the same  convoluted position as in the first case. Only quieter, less angry, more resigned, so less alive.

I guess the way forward is to remember that the small elements of daily life and the grand visions of a lifetime or beyond belong together. Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the big stuff either. They fulfill each other, making the place on Earth and Time a fuller, richer place for us, for the people and places we come in contact with, and who knows, maybe for Earth, or Life, itself.

One of the things I like most about living in the bush is that you have real and not imaginated fears…

Life comes by. We move with and against it like a shore hit by waves

The essence of sand: unbearable hardness brought to life and loving softness by a meeting of strengths of opposing qualities.   

Finally coming around to read Flaubert: Sentimental Education is a wonderfully written work but with a strange, not unattractive bitter tinge to it: a young man filled with dreams and passions but lost, somehow, in his inner world of fantasies and dreams… deeply in love with an older, married woman he let his whole existence and every move swirl around her allowing himself to be immersed to the point of self-anhiliation (he is not of a very strong caracter, this young man…)

Many of the insights and observations made me stop reading to contemplate either the beauty of the scenes or the painful realization of our folly as humans, occasionally, when we delve into heartbroken selfpitying despair over something “lost”  when in fact it was never ours… letting possibilities pass by that could have become if we had dug into it and started working… It is a great antidote to procrastination, a wonderful piece to read to get a glimpse of the richness in textures social as well as tactile: damask shoes with swand downs, velveted hoods, cashmire capes with squirrel fur… wagons, horses, steamboats, delicious meals: it has smells, sights and sounds as well as living breathing people from all strands of life coming together interacting, discussing, living, arguing… it is love, passion, friendships, betrayal, ambitions, self-deceit, politics: all these elements we need to consider in a life as a natural part of it.

I read Flaubert as a part of the journey to move on with my Masters thesis in history of ideas on individualism: the main character of which is my great grand-father dr.Hjalmar Christensen (1869-1925). He doctorated on a thesis on Flaubert 1902 and was the first to translate this work into Norwegian: he himself wrote about the development and refinement of the sentiment through the ages viewing the Romantic Movement as a truly born child of the Enlightenment but as with any child in opposition of it, longing for the previous age but only taking its estetics using them as requisites for their own enquiries into love, life, meaning… later in life, exhausted of a possibility to ever become a Professor (his personal life was a bit too bohemian, the Comitte found) he crafted a lovely series of Cultural novels built over his own familys history showing the shift in mentality and lifestyle from the enlightenment period on to the mordern times through the relationships between the characters in the books.

love and resistance, longings, pleasure and pain… all these elements that need to be considered and thought about and lived! for us to have a full life: I realize that one of the elements in procrastinating so long with finishing is that there is such a strong existential calling emerging from these works. It can not be ignored but it gor lost, somehow, in all the intermediary marxistically inspired analytical approach and its rightful criticism of the blindness to suffering; but also they failed, loosing sight of the softer, fuller, more feminine if you want (as in Anima) sides of the world and that, I believe is the main reason for the widespread depression in the developed countries. it is a call not to consumerism or hard-headed materialism or even sensualism per se: it is of a sterner type, inspired by the stoics and in one way the true learnings of Epicur. It is not an easy path! but it has to b e taken: if it is true, what is said, that the greatest of all is love then our deepest calling is for all of us to develop into a truly loving caring compassionate soul and to understand, in the depth of our souls, what this ove really means – for us. And even if this is a lonely journey we are always interconnected thereby not ever really alone.

In todays newsletter from Empty Easel http://emptyeasel.com/ they ask for their readers opinion about what art is: http://emptyeasel.com/2009/10/26/what-is-art-in-your-opinion/ . I found the challenge inspiring so here is my answer to that question as I see it today.

What is art?
I think we have to start with differeniating between two things: 1: the object; 2: the action.
It is the action, not the object itself that, according to my opinion, the “art” in the equiation. The objects are the neccesary manifestations following a creative act with a specific, exploratory intention. For the artist, the works created – whether a piece of music, text, sculpture, happening, drawing or painting just to mention a few outlets are stages on the way to reach deeper insight into oneself, the surrounding world (including objects chosen for contemplation (hereunder also emotional and\or intellectual states)). It is always a relation to something “else” and we struggle to meet that other by our creative act, never really getting there but always reaching out for it.

When the action has reached a certain stage where we can not go further at that specific piece we stop, discard it and move on after some reflection towards the object created to see if we can do even better next time…
Why is art important?
Art as an object as well as the action itself is a reflection, a manifestation of a certain mindstate not reached by ano other means. Through contemplating other peoples art we gain a fresh insight into something different, something new and refreshing – whether it is through contrast or harmony with our own ideas and worldviews. Trough our own work we gain a specific and particular kind of freedom: we free ourselves from the superficial way of observing events and objects and relations and can let our mind expand. It help us in our quest to grow as humans.
And why are YOU an artist, rather than anything else?
I have tried NOT to be an artist but the urge to create seem to come creeping up on me: I can not se any other way to manifest and explore in depth the things I read, study, experience and dream about, so artist I must be… but it takes a lot of dedication and frustration and dicipline and perserverance and hard work and aslo kindness to oneself and others – and patience, loads of it… but when it works and I finally crack a code moving forward on something I have stumbled on previously or gain a new insight I get filled with this incredible energy and happiness and those moments makes it all worthwhile.

The Saruni Drawing safari is finally happening;) : A very specialized 10 days safari for artists on all levels focusing on drawing and painting landscapes, animals and people in Samburu and the Masai Mara. We use our lodges Saruni Samburu and Saruni Mara as a base for exploration and I draw on my experience from painting and exploring these areas in showing highlights and explaining the interaction between peoples, landscapes, cultures and natural processes… A group of  Norwegian ladies – Anne-Grethe, Grethe, Solfrid and Torun – have been busy these last days painting and drawing the amazing Kalaman and Samburu landscape, its animals and people. For me it has been a good learning experience noting again that I enjoy teaching and have a certain knack for it. My approach is somewhat phenomenological in character in that I emphasize a level of physical awareness of the subject chosen: you should strive to know and almost physically feel that there is a difference in texture, solidity, composition, temperature, level and what I think of as historicity in what you are observing. Look deeply to the essence. And then try to express that feeling and vision as good as you can without fear of failure. The historic moments has to do with presence in time as a factor: is it a fluttering sky or a butterfly? Is it a piece of volcanic landscape sunk into rest after violent and sudden eruption? Is it a predator, a grazer or browser? If so, what is its lifestyle? How can we read that out of its composure and built? These are the elements we need to capture and express, its essence, its specific traits evolutionary grown through necessity, practice and interaction with other species as well as the underlying topographical and climatic factors. This goes for everything on this planet; nothing is standing still, everything is in continuous movement but it all happens on different scales timewise as well as its changing occupation of space taken thereby giving each and every moment and object its unique character as subject. This means in practical terms that there are no failures as long as you have striven to reach out. There are necessities and there are possibilities and there are results that open up for new pathways which in its turn evolves and changes into something else. There is no need – indeed, it is a mistake – to freeze moments in images. Instead let it flow, knowing time moves, wind blows, the elephants walk away, the resting lions roll over to a more comfortable position and know it is all right, that the quest you are on is to see more deeply, to let go of your fears, to allow the world as it is with its multitude of layers penetrate you and get you out of hiding to enter in the dance of life as you are to be a participant, not a spectacor. But action is not enough to evolve. After the inner dancing is done and the fleeting moments come to a more peaceful pace stop you work, sit down with yourself and ask yourself some difficult and neccesary questions in front of your drawing or painting. What worked and what not? Did I understand what I saw or were there some feeling of confusion? Are there preparations I can do to overcome that blind spot of perception? Which level is the determining factor for you in the sense of joy, of frustration, energizing flow you experience during work? How does others experience it – discuss! And then go back to work, looking more deeply into the weaker areas recognizing the elements in oneself as we work them over freeing the blocked energy, releasing the fear and move on. So should I. The guests are waiting…

Thank you for reading!